Sunday, November 02, 2008

流浪@Close Out

I actually have a few posts in drafts, pending publishing.. but I decided that I would just delete them...

I know.. I have been updating really really less recently... like.. once a week or a fortnight... and it's basically all my personal rantings and nothing much...

The fact is, I have been on an emotional roller-coaster ride and I feel mentally drained... I just don't know what to write or what to do at all...

Well, the good thing is, my fortunes have shifted for the better in terms of employment.. hey I finally got my fat ass into a major MNC, the ultimate goal that I have been laboring hard for for the past 4-5 months... so at least I have nothing monetary to worry about for the time being...
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Recently, I said many things that I shouldn't have, to many people... and kinda screwed a couple of friendships up... this is the major reason as to why I am so mentally drained.. I have actually been walking on an emotional tightrope for a few weeks already...

Of course, I don't show it out in the public.. after all, what's the point to it right? There are things that are meant NOT to be said no matter what.. or things will turn awkward @ go sour @ become a pile of mess... kinda learned this point the hard way...

But it's tough.. u know.. especially when u feel stressed, emotions run high much more easily... things we're not supposed to mention, gets mentioned.. and things we're not supposed to do, gets done.. usually in a spur of a moment...

(PS: I didn't go back again this week is because I really have some sudden issues at work and have to work Saturday, not because I'm ditching u guys!!)
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I went on a Being Alone Day last week... it was quite good, but not quite effective...

So today, I went on another Being Alone Day... well not exactly that.. it's more like a Being Alone Session... did what I like to do.. drive, went to Gurney to catch a movie (Eagle Eye), spent 2 hours in Popular bookstore... another soothing experience...

Before that, I went for breakfast with Wing Yew and Lim Yuen... and then went for lunch with... with... erm, well she prefers to remain anonymous, so let's just name this girl L...

No, not this L =.=

L is a lady I got to know while working for my previous company... let's not get into the details too much, it's sufficient to say that she is 1 hot chick, but already has a boyfriend, so it's not like what u wanna think between us =.=

It's just that, we seem to speak on the same wavelength, so we became friends very quickly.. the lunch today is actually more of a chit chat session, because both of us have something troubling emotionally and needs someone to talk to...

It was really great to be able to get someone to talk to like that... We should really do this more in the future, k? *winks*
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After this chit chat session, the movie, some books, and some stepping on the gas pedal.. I think I'm ready to declare: I'm out of the blues!! Woohoo!!!

It's more like, I know what I am supposed to do, and how I should proceed with life from now on... it's been a long time since I felt this sense of direction again...

Actually, I just need to do things the way I used to do it: do nothing.. I know I am known as the GPS or the Best Organiser for Scotland Trip, but in reality, I'm actually quite a reactive asshole
who always wait for phone calls for activities, avoids excessive problem solving endeavours on MSN, don't say anything out of queue, etc...

Since I moved up north, this reactivity seems to have gone from me.. so I shall just re-activate this attribute within me... being a reactive, subdued, reserved asshole is just the way to go for me...

Misquoting from Sex and the City: "Alone and Fabulous".. that should be me...
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Hopefully, this will be the last of my entries depicting my emotional roller-coaster ride for Year 2008...

2 comments:

AsX said...

Hey man, got a feeling that u are down because of one particular person that i know...

RealGunners said...

no,i was DOWN because of MANY particular persons that u probably DON'T know about..

dun bother to think about it la.. hehehe