Saturday, January 03, 2009


早知今日,又何必当初?Jou zhi gam yat, yau hor bit dong chor? If such an outcome is predicted, why would you still wanna do it in the 1st place?
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Like I mentioned in 1 of my previous posts, it feels like breaking up is as trendy as paycuts and retrenchments lately. In fact, it got so frequent that I have been listening to at least 2 declaration of broken hearts per week for December 2008 alone..

It's not like I'm getting pissed or angry for listening to all these, I'm more than willing to listen and share my opinion on these things even if I myself do not have that much experience apart from 1 failed relationship myself. I'm more than happy to help if it can bring cheers back to my friends.

But then, sometimes it gets kinda frustrating to find out some of the the root causes of problematic relationships...

Lenglui's is a frustrating case of girlfriend vs family which probably nothing much can be done of. Well now I'm going to talk abit about something which I feel is almost if not totally opposite.
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There's this girl (yes, it's a girl again -.-") that I've known that attends the same tuition centre as I did when I was in... Form 3. Although we're not in the same school and did not went to the same college, we do still keep in touch and meet up once in a while, although meeting up has become next to impossible after my heading up here to Penang..

Anyway, this girl.. she is not exactly the prettiest of girls, but she has a personality that makes guys easily attracted to her. Hahahaha yeah right, I was 1 of them too -.-" For anonimity, I'll just call her... Magnet, ok?

You see, there was this guy from the same tuition class as well, whose totally into Magnet. I know we're Form 3 back then, but this guy, it was always Magnet for him, and it still is, seriously... Maybe I'll just call him... KiSiao for being so deeply in love with her.

You might wanna ask me, what's so kisiao about being deeply in love with a girl for a long period of time? Let me continue..

The thing is, Magnet has never treated KiSiao like someone who could potentially be a boyfriend, ever. Sometimes, we would go yumcha together, we all know that KiSiao has a thing for Magnet, and we would try to do what friends do best, arrange it to be convenient for them, but in the end, nothing happened.

KiSiao is really 1 heck of a guy. The tuition centre is actually near my home, as it is to most of the students, so we would just walk there. This crazy fella, let me put it in this crudely self-made map...

This crazy fella, instead of going straight to the tuition centre, he would somehow take a route that would pass by Magnet's house on his way to tuition, ALL THE TIME, and waited nearby until she leaves home, just so that he can "coincidentally" bump into her while going to tuition..

I also remember that on her birthday, he actually bought her a bush of red roses and a necklace that I later found out costed RM200 over. We were just Form 3 back then, just to remind you.

There's still loads of things that he did for her, but I'm not gonna mention them 1 by 1, because it would be an endless list. Let's just continue...

I did mention, Magnet was not moved at all. KiSiao's efforts went unanswered. I left the tuition centre after Form 3, Form 4 and 5 I attended a fehmes tuition centre in KL. But I do know from our yumcha session time to time that it was more or less the same story throughout our high school life...

Then, on 1 of our yumcha occasion when I was in college, Magnet brought a guy along! That's like... the ultimate pierce on KiSiao's heart.... and on our future sessions, this guy became quite a regular among us... I'll call him.. Yaro.. it's a Japanese word that I hear all the time in animes..

Non of us really liked this Yaro to be honest. He's not handsome, he's not rich, and most importantly, he's not gentleman. We can't really figure out why Magnet likes him. I'll highlight how ungentlemanly this Yaro is.

When Magnet first introduced him to us, we were all some sort of like, watchful.. wanting to find out what kind of a deal he is. Naturally, we'd expect him to be a 100% gentleman to his girl.. I mean, hey, it's the first time you meet her friends, don't you just wanna like.. send some sort of a signal out that she's your girl, and score some brownie points in front of her friends?

There was only 1 vacant chair at that moment, because we were only expecting Magnet. This Yaro, he came, and instead of looking for another chair, he just sit down himself and left his girl standing. End up, yeah it was KiSiao who went and asked for another chair from the mamak.

The situation was pretty awkward with Yaro around, and after awhile, his phone rang. After answering it, he just stood up and said, he's got another yumcha session in another place. I don't know about you guys, but if it was me, there'd be 2 things that I'd do:

1. Ditch the other bunch of friends and stick to my girl.

2. Apologise, ask my girl to leave with me because I want to send her safely back home myself.

Yaro? He just went to Magnet, said bye, and then... left! He did not even bother to find out if there's anyone else who would send her girl back home. And he didn't even pay for the roti telur and teh tarik that he ate! It was KiSiao who sent Magnet home that night (obviously)...

It took just that once for us to decide, we don't like Yaro. We felt sorry for KiSiao too, we were rooting for him all the while..
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Shit.. that was a pretty damn long briefing... wasn't really my intention to type that much, but once I'm into it, couldn't really control, and since I've typed them out, heck might as well just leave it here..

Anyway, back to the problem. Just last week, yeah Christmas week, I actually had a brief meet up with Magnet just so to hear her out.

What happened was, she broke up with Yaro, for real, finally.. from our MSN conversations, what I know is that, theirs was a case like 1 of LeeHom's song which sounds like this: 情人总分分合合, 可是我们却越爱越深... Except, this time it's probably for real..

Her reason was: "It seems like his friends are more important than me! And he gets mad when I meet up with my own friends!"

As much as I sympathize her, I couldn't help but think of the phrase in my title... jou zhi gam yat, yau hor bit dong chor neh??

I mean.. I do feel sorry for her.. I really do.. after all, it really depends on the "灰令" feeling to get involved in a relationship. Sometimes, got feel = got feel, no feel = no feel, full stop. If u are fall in love with a dickhead, then there's nothing much we can do about it too, right?

It's just that, sometimes it baffles me: if the guy is a dickhead, why would a girl fall for him in the first place? Yeah, you can say feel is the factor, but I heard from people that girls do not judge guys by appearance that much, but other things, how he treat her being the most important.

Yet, out of the many cases I've heard and am hearing at the moment, there's very many cases where the moment we got introduced to the guy, we instinctively know he's crap, but somehow, the girl involved keeps getting involved in the relationship for a prolonged period of time until 1 day, she decides that enough is enough...

Magnet's is such a case, it was pretty obvious to us that Yaro was treating her as if she's nothing, so I suppose she probably knew that too... except that in her case, we have KiSiao here to consider as well...

You see, it's probably due to the fact that I'm not a girl and therefore don't know how a girl thinks, but.. it's just mind boggling to me that here, you have a dude who'd do anything for you, who'd probably even die for you, and who will never look at countless other girls in his own school, college, and uni, and you have no feel for him whatsoever, hence he is still eating 谷种 guk zhong as of currently..

Then, there's an asshole who is ungentlemanly, did minimal things for you, doesn't really care about you, break your heart all the time, and you have a great deal of feel for him, willingly get into a relationship with him, and take very very much longer than enough to finally realize that he's crap...

Is feel really that blindly? Or is it that girls are actually more inclined to feel disinterested with guys who would do anything for them? Then why the hell do the same girls used to tell me that for girls, it's not important how guys look, but more on how the guys treat them.

Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe they meant, the more shitty you treat them, the more they are interested with you -.-"
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Anyway, Magnet told me that she officially broke up with Yaro and will never turn back again. I did sort of mention about KiSiao, but.. her response?

"Erm, he's nice, but, cannot lah, really don't have the feel"

Haih... I have been rooting for KiSiao and his spirit of 默默耕耘 mo mo geng yun @ patiently farming all the while, but from the signs, it seems like KiSiao will be eating 谷种 guk zhong for a very long time, maybe even for the rest of his life, unless he can break free and look for a girl that he truly deserves and that deserves him..
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Fulamak.. macham very wordy, this post, sorry mates -.-"


Anonymous said...

I think only young girl will talk about feel. As for me i want a guy that sayang me many many muchie.. erm.. but back to think of it.. i hv lots of fren that behave like Magnet did :S y har?

RealGunners said...

i think is not young problem, is just most girls have the 'fan jin' genes guar =.="

It's Me said...

but sometimes, if u haf no feelhow to start a relationship wor...

RealGunners said...

no no, it's absolutely sensible to start a relationship based on feel. the thing is, i'm not sure if there's any criteria that will make girls more easily have feel -.-

i don't mean it's wrong, but it sure is mind boggling to see girls have feel for crap and no feel for the supposingly good guy -.-

AsX said...

Gunner, i guess guys need to treat girls badly just to be with that girl, since there is a Chinese saying that "Bad guy score the girls 男人不坏,女人不爱". There seem to be lots of examples in life supporting this theory. So, why not u go scold a gal and we'll see whether she find u 'Man' or not... Go try with Cath :P.

RealGunners said...

i scold cath, she will just scold me back more viciously.. kenot kenot.. said...



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