I was thinking whether or not to write this up, but I know it is useless to talk to you guys anyway, you'd probably don't wanna talk about it at all and say what's done is done.
I really just wanna express what really was going on with me last night, I'd feel better voicing out, regardless of whether you guys choose to understand or to ignore..
I'm really very grateful for the surprise party last night. I really am. I know you guys went quite some distance to plan this up. THANK YOU!!!
But I was really in quite a mess last night. I was in severe headache/migraine/kepala pening/whatever you wanna call it. It's not the 1st time I felt this way, I've had it few times before back when I was working for the company in Shah Alam when I do night supports job. It's probably due to the lack of sleep + too much stress, and not some sickness.
It's just that, when it happened last time, I was usually at home and went straight to bed before it got worse. Yesterday, the dizziness really begin to kick in about 3pm, after we came back from lunch. To be honest, I was seriously contemplating ffk for the dinner, but since you guys said it is to continue celebrating Cath's birthday *I really didn't suspect that it was for me at all at that stage*, and I've got Cath fat lan zha at me for considering sleeping the night out at home.
"If you don't want to eat, just go and sit sit la" ... so well, no show is not an option..
I know I was like a dead man sitting it out throughout dinner, I think you guys noticed that too. The headache was still bearable at that point, since I wasn't using much brain power. The turning point was when the cake came. Now I know that the whole fuss is for me.
To be honest, yeah, I didn't know how to react to this surprise celebration. I was grateful, I was touched *still am*, but I haven't have this kind of thing happening before. Birthdays are usually low profile occasions for me.
I really tried to express my gratitude at that point. Blowing candles, cutting cake, posing with the present, photos, I really did try to make an effort to appreciate all these, but I guess, these things drained the last ounce of my brain energy for the night.
After that my head really begin to feel like a spinning rock. I couldn't really focus and couldn't be totally aware of what was going on. I could vaguely hear you guys laughing and having fun. But the pain at the back of the head was overpowering me, so, besides making some simple gestures that I'm down and almost out, and trying to find a suitable pose to rest my head, I was pretty much helpless.
I didn't intend for that. I tried to make a few gestures for attention *I guess*, but I couldn't get any response. After awhile, I was really stranded helplessly and besides trying to make my head comfortable, I really couldn't think of anything else.
I didn't. In fact, I'm feeling guilty as a pig. I kind of ruined a surprise party that you guys throw at me, albeit not on purpose.
The reason I'm posting this up is because I know it is a waste of time trying get you guys' attention to talk about this. I know I'd be brushed off if I try to bring this topic on. But I really want you guys to know, I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO PLAY SICK LAST NIGHT, MY CONDITION WAS REALLY THAT BAD, and I AM REALLY GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU GUYS AS FRIENDS.
Btw, the headache is not really a sickness, it's gone with a deep slumber for a night.