Saturday, September 26, 2009

Return Favour

Wei, I draw it so susah u know, Ctrl+Z dunno how many times, bei d min hou wor -_-" Cheer up laaa~~ k?

Hope it can make your day today la, as how you made mine the other day :)

Here's the real thing by the way.

Friday, September 25, 2009


Ok, let's not talk about my flip-flop, yo-yo mood today. Let's talk about, something in my possession that needs replacement...

In case you didn't know, my hand phone began to screw me up since about 2 months ago. First, the whole phone fucked up. A thorough investigation shows that the memory card is fried, and the camera cannot be accessed.

Then, the display screen begin to lag the keystrokes on the keypad by 1-2 counts. For example, I type 012345678, the display screen will just show 01234567.

Lately, my phone starts to mess up my phonebook contacts. For example, when I reply an SMS to, say Catherine for example, the message would go to Cathrane, which is 1 name below Catherine in my phonebook.

I tried to send the phone for repair, reflashing or hardware change, I tried a few shops, all same response: Dude, it is time, change new phone la.

So... I'm faced with the inevitable now, B U Y N E W H A N D P H O N E !

In case you didn't know, I'm anti-whateverbrandsthatthemajorityuse,

And then, there's also one brand, my current handphone's brand, that seems to cease coming up with handphones...

So, I'm left with one probable choice...

I'm looking for a cheap slide phone. I've been checking out these:

Haih... how to choose..

Thursday, September 24, 2009


I know what you mean, I really appreciate your concern, and I really thank Buddha that I have a friend such as you that is always around at my lowest ebb of time. The thing is, I made this decision after weeks of pondering, thinking and mini experimenting.

If based on just my gut feelings, no doubt, I would be running away from this island and head back to the capital city in no time; yet my rational suggests otherwise. Remember what I said when I first came up? It still didn't quite materialize. In fact, as of now, I'm in pretty much the same situation as I was before coming up here in terms of you-know.

Which is more the reason why I should stay and fight on. I know, and you know too, that my pride has taken terrible hits, from top bottom left and right, for so long. The only route I have left right now is backwards or forward. For the sake of whatever little pride I have left, I need to stay on, fight on, and at least have something to show if and when I eventually decides to end my island adventure.

I know you'll back me up, as you always did, right? Movie and dinner next weekend? Promise? :)


I know I know!! I get your point!! I'm an asshole!! I'm falling in love with a bunch of chicks in the island!! Stop repeating those statements in my MSN/SMS/Hotmail/Gmail/whatever fuck medias!!

And, thank you very much you dumbass. Thanks to you for your untimely and provocative suggestions, my brain has been kicked into overdrive. And as a result of my thinking being screwed, everything I say and do seems to border the realm of insanity. All thanks to you...

And ironically, I begin to think more and more that, you might be right to a certain extent.... damn, maybe I'm really an asshole...


I'm sorry for bullshitting all over your face, and then promise to stop that, and then doing it again, and again, and again, and again. My brain's all fucked up, that's the reason, or excuse, depending on how you see it.

Truth is, I really wish that we could talk like how we used to talk, like few weeks ago. I know you have your own sets of trouble and are moody, and I also know I myself am pretty screwed up to be able to talk like a sane fella.

Don't wanna talk about problems, just wanna let you know, I am a man of my words. I promised you I would not attempt anything stupid on you, and I would keep to that promise for as long as you are comfortable with it. It's just that, you know best, my inability to hide secrets from you, any secret, even secrets regarding you, has betrayed me to a devastating effect.

And no matter what happens, I'll back you up with all I have. Good friend till the end of times :)

Maybe we need time to cool things off, most probably I am the one who need time to cool things off. Of course I'd be glad to use some help from you. If you would share things with me like you always do, or even just talk to me like we did usually, that'd be nice :)

But then, perhaps being cruel to me is not a bad move at all. If you feel that being cruel is better off for both of us, then please do so.

Anyway, take care. Hope you ultimately find your happiness, that's my biggest wish.

Monday, September 21, 2009


With the passing of each day, my brain gets more and more messed up. I'm getting more and more confused. I think I'm slowly losing my mind...
Why is it that everyone that you could need to around, is not around, when you need them the most? Why is this feeling of being forsaken so strong??

Thursday, September 17, 2009





Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Do you know what is the most important part in a car engine?

Yes, the spark plug.

It is a very small, and inexpensive, replaceable part, yet without it, the car will not ignite.

Same thing goes for many aspects of life. A relationship for example. Imagine a relationship without the spark, it is like a car without the spark to ignite the engine. The only way to move that car is by releasing the handbrake, and use brute force to push the car from behind.

Sooner or rather than later, without going far, the person who is pushing will get tired, and he/she will push slower and slower, and in most instances, exhaustion kills them.

If your spark plug is good @ your car got the spark, your drive will be smooth and you'd make good distance, and even if you wanna stop for a rest and 1 of the R&R area on your way from KL to Penang, you know that when you get back into the car, your engine will re-ignite easily, and you continue with your journey.

For reference, a Kancil with good spark plug is still much better compared to a Ferrari with no spark plug at all if you wanna go from KL to Penang, or JB, or Kuantan etc, right? What's the point of the Ferrari if you can't ignite the engine? Are you going to push it all the way to JB?

One thing those guys at Transformers got right is the name of their energy source: AllSpark.

Even the robots' life source are called their spark. Without the spark, there can be no life.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


I just found this photo from the depths of my laptop while doing some housekeeping last night. Must've taken it the last time I went back to KL, when I sent my sis to college.

This is a new building of TAR College Setapak. I remember when I graduated, construction of this building has not even begin yet.

I wonder what building is this... I didn't manage to get in to have a peek, because I no longer have a student badge with me, and I can't use the excuse of "turun orang" to the guards because my sis was headed to the newer DK ABF...

It looks... kind of... different, compared to the usual classroom blocks, I'm sure those who were from the same batch as me or earlier will know what I mean. Any juniors mind to enlighten me?

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Will this come true? Will this happen to me? I really hope it does.. I'm praying hard for it, and working hard for it.. I don't care if it's 1 week or 1 month, I don't care if it's business trip and not relo @ no daily allowances.. I still want it...

Oh and, by the looks of the map, perhaps I could take a weekend to head over to ze' little town where Aliens and Predator were supposed to have wreaked havoc before.. isn't it nuked to rubbles by the military?

Everyone, please pray with me...

Wednesday, September 09, 2009


The picture says it all...

Every line of subtitles of the movie are either as amazing or more amazing than this...

That's why I always say, when you play with torrents, you really need luck...

Saturday, September 05, 2009


I'm sorry. Because when we began to chat actively, I sensed that you were the sentimental type, much like me. That is why I thought, we are on the same wavelength; that is why I thought we could make perfect friends.

I thought that we would be able to understand each other much better than the others, that I could share my deeper, more emotional troubles with you (on a purely friendship scale, NOT romantic scale). That is why I shove all those shit that I never share with the others all this while.

Actually, I expected that you would share my thoughts, or if you disagree, you would shout back at me. That's what true friends are for isn't it? If a friend makes a wrong action or have a wrong thinking, you wallop him and scold him, fight with him until he come to his senses. If he's stubborn, you hit him harder until he gets the point. If you are wrong, you take his point in return. That's what I thought a true friend does, that the normal friends does not comprehend and does not do.

Seems like I was wrong. It was all a one sided assumptions and expectations. When you tell me so often lately, that you don't want to argue with me, let's talk tomorrow, things like that, I finally realized, you didn't want this all this while. You just want to be normal friends with me, like the rest of them, right? You didn't want to be the one that slaps some sense into me, you want to be like the rest, who prefers to do nothing and forget about everything, right?

It must've been hard on you, to cope with all my self-assumed expectations. You didn't like it at all, and it is just recently that I learned that in full. You just wanted to be a normal friend, not a very close friend.

I'm so sorry for assuming myself, and not realizing it sooner, even after so long. I'm so sorry for sharing things that you were not prepared to accept. I'm so sorry for ruining your mood all the time.

Please give me time to adapt. I'll stop pestering you with all these, I'll start to just talk about surface stuff, the less stressful stuff with you from now on. But please give me time, it takes time to get used to the stark reality.

And thank you for putting up with things you didn't want in the first place, for so long. You really made my life much more colorful in a place that's not home for me.

Sorry, and thank you.

(Of course, if you think I'm bullshitting, if you think that we CAN share those deeper stuff as I have always shared with you all the time, it's just that I'm crazy this round, then prove me wrong by responding, by MSN or by email or watever. If you just ignore this post, then I'll just take it that my realization is correct. Hopefully you know who you are, I think it's pretty obvious.)

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


Is it true that the older we get, the more difficult it is to discover and maintain a very mutual, 100% pure friendship?

This is a question that has been playing around my head over the weekend, a question that I suspect will haunt me for the rest of my life, or at least a large chunk of my life.

I have a group of friends that I know will always form an integral part of my life, friends that I made in primary and secondary school. These are the few people that I know will back me up no matter what I do, and that I know I will back up no matter what they do. These are also the very people that knows me inside out (almost) and that I hopefully knows to that extent as well.

I have a couple of "sister"s... if you get what I mean, those very close female friends that I made in various activities I joined, in secondary school and high school. These are wonderful ladies that almost share the same ideology on friendship as me, these are people whom I can always count on to come out and have a drink whenever I feel down, just so that I can voice out my frustrations, complain, and even cry without holding back. Of course I'd do the same if they happen to need me that way.

I even have someone I call leng ma. Not in a literal way though, she's not really old enough to be my mom, she's just old enough to be a mother to a cute little girl, leng ma is just my way of calling this very good friend of mine. I actually got to know leng ma through an online chatting portal some years back, actually many years back, way back since I was in high school. Leng ma is another wonderful woman that I know will hold a very dear position in my life, for the rest of my life. She is another friend that I know I can date, have dinner with, and talk about all sorts of nonsense without any fear and suspicion.

That was school. School was fun. College time? I wasn't a very sociable dude in college... Actually, I was a very unsociable bloke in college. In fact, I spent almost half of my college time in Brewball Ampang Point, and another large chunk in the library instead of lecture halls. I didn't make much friends in college, apart from a handful few from the same course, and quite a few more during my stint in LJMU. Yeah LJMU... Liverpool was fun, Europe was fun, and yeah, 1 of my best chat mate was known during that time... but then, practically, that's it.

What drives me crazy, which is the main reason I'm blurting these out, is life after college, the working life. It annoys me deeply that when we leave the student life behind, most of us also leave behind the sense of pureness behind.

We are no longer able to be just friends with the opposite sex. The moment you get near one, the environment will basically shout at you and swallow you up with the "ha! kao lui ah ha!" bullshit.. And when we do get near one, instead of focusing on mutual friendship, we tend to second guess what's on his/her mind? Are we just friends? Does he/she want something else from me?

It hurts me deeply when I realize, if you've got yourself a boyfriend/girlfriend, then you cannot maintain a very close friendship with another guy/girl, even if you were already best friends way before you met this potential life partner. The easiest and most common justification would be: "The bf/gf gets jealous, they feel unsecure", "If you've already got me, why the fuck do you still wanna fren fren with the other guy/girl? --- gatal issit?" etc etc.. and so, you stay away from even your best friend.

I'm not good at all in the art of camouflaging, and certainly not good in serious lying. When I'm sad, I show it on my face. Blokes like me tend to not make very many friends, because everyone is afraid of people who always have the sour face with them. We thrive on the few mutual friends that we have, that can accept what we are, why we are like that, and not fret about it. So when we lose one of these friends, it gets pretty tough to get over it and move on, because we know it is really not that easy to find another such friend.

I'm listening to this song right now, and I'm feeling god damn emo...

范玮琪 - 一个像夏天 一个像秋天

我们一个像夏天 一个像秋天

遇见一个人然后 生命全改变

如果不是你 我不会相信
朋友比情人 还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱 把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我 只是骂我几句

如果不是你 我不会确定
朋友比情人 更懂得倾听
我的弦外之音 我的有口无心


Well... I don't know what I'm saying anymore, getting dizzy, might as well just go to sleep, thanks for reading yet another pile of rubbish I've just written, kthxbye~