If based on just my gut feelings, no doubt, I would be running away from this island and head back to the capital city in no time; yet my rational suggests otherwise. Remember what I said when I first came up? It still didn't quite materialize. In fact, as of now, I'm in pretty much the same situation as I was before coming up here in terms of you-know.
Which is more the reason why I should stay and fight on. I know, and you know too, that my pride has taken terrible hits, from top bottom left and right, for so long. The only route I have left right now is backwards or forward. For the sake of whatever little pride I have left, I need to stay on, fight on, and at least have something to show if and when I eventually decides to end my island adventure.
I know you'll back me up, as you always did, right? Movie and dinner next weekend? Promise? :)
----------I know I know!! I get your point!! I'm an asshole!! I'm falling in love with a bunch of chicks in the island!! Stop repeating those statements in my MSN/SMS/Hotmail/Gmail/whatever fuck medias!!
And, thank you very much you dumbass. Thanks to you for your untimely and provocative suggestions, my brain has been kicked into overdrive. And as a result of my thinking being screwed, everything I say and do seems to border the realm of insanity. All thanks to you...
And ironically, I begin to think more and more that, you might be right to a certain extent.... damn, maybe I'm really an asshole...
----------I'm sorry for bullshitting all over your face, and then promise to stop that, and then doing it again, and again, and again, and again. My brain's all fucked up, that's the reason, or excuse, depending on how you see it.
Truth is, I really wish that we could talk like how we used to talk, like few weeks ago. I know you have your own sets of trouble and are moody, and I also know I myself am pretty screwed up to be able to talk like a sane fella.
Don't wanna talk about problems, just wanna let you know, I am a man of my words. I promised you I would not attempt anything stupid on you, and I would keep to that promise for as long as you are comfortable with it. It's just that, you know best, my inability to hide secrets from you, any secret, even secrets regarding you, has betrayed me to a devastating effect.
And no matter what happens, I'll back you up with all I have. Good friend till the end of times :)
Maybe we need time to cool things off, most probably I am the one who need time to cool things off. Of course I'd be glad to use some help from you. If you would share things with me like you always do, or even just talk to me like we did usually, that'd be nice :)
But then, perhaps being cruel to me is not a bad move at all. If you feel that being cruel is better off for both of us, then please do so.
Anyway, take care. Hope you ultimately find your happiness, that's my biggest wish.