Sunday, June 29, 2014

烦 Frustration

最近除了工作工作工作再工作 一闲暇下来就会胡思乱想反复思考我的人生。

当初决定离乡背井 北上来到槟城打拼时 我原先定下在这里最多呆个2-3年 用2-3年来累计工作经验 然后就闪人去更遥远的地方寻找自己的蓝天。其实我最初的目标根本不是槟城,而是去新加坡赚2块半,只是申请了很多新加坡公司 苦等了很多个月 最终还是只有苦等。

可惜念书的时候被无良的大公司经理们来到学院演讲唆摆 说什么[考试成绩不重要,人品才是最重要]之类的鸟话 害到天真的我放弃了只追求考试成绩的干劲 结果只考到了一纸二等上学位。 出来社会找工的时候才惊觉如果没有一等学位 那些之前说鸟话的经理根本是不太会理睬的。在座的如果有还在念书的小朋友们 千万要把试给考好 千万千万不要相信[考试成绩不重要]这句鸟话!

不过话说回来,我来到槟城的际遇还算不错。进了一家美国大公司 上司也不错 起初工作还真的蛮愉快的,还去了好几趟美国,所以一呆就呆了6年有多。只是工作越久就觉得越不对境,面对着经济大海啸的打击 看着公司的总裁一次又一次的发了自己几百万美元的红利 同时实行一系列削夺员工福利的措施 心情一次又一次的下沉。

看着自己薪水每年微涨5% 楼价却高涨50%, 经济饭从5年前的RM3.50起价起到现在的RM6 (70%),咖啡冰从RM0.90起到RM1.60 (77%),怎么感觉打工越久生命就越坎坷?

曾几何时,我的计划是在35岁之前赚够被动收入,然后就退休去环游世界。而今面对现实的洗礼,计划顿时化为梦想,而且是近乎幻想似的。我工作了快要6年了,好像跟6年前一样一无是处。 我这6年到底在干什么?

有时候真的很想狠下心来,冲动的去丢信,背上背包去浪迹天涯,寻求属于自己芳草。不过这念头每次都是一闪而过而已,因为很快就会想起6年前辞去吉隆坡的工作,敢敢跑来槟城找工,结果沦落至半年无收入的凄惨。每次想到这个,我心里的那团火就会自动被浇熄。

最近开始看了很多旅游博客的网记,每次看了都会很羡慕,因为他们都做了我想做而不敢做的事情,而且个个都看似对自己的生活很满意。难道我这怕死的心态 错了??难道我应该重复6年前的那股热诚,敢敢抛下所有的顾虑?

很烦。

For me, it has been either working, working, working and then working lately, or when there is some breathing space, I will spend the time to think about nonsense reflect about my life.

When I first decided to leave my hometown and head north to Penang, my original idea was to stay here for 2 to 3 years at most. I will use this 2 to 3 years to work my ass of and accumulate the invaluable work experience, and then fuck off head off to some further away places to search for my piece of blue horizon. To be honest, Penang was not my first choice, I originally wanted to go to Singapore and earn that RM2.50 conversion rate instead. Unfortunately, after applying into many companies and many months of waiting, in the end that was what it ever was, just waiting.

The problem was back in my college days, there used to be a lot of instances where those immoral managers from the big companies would come to give us career talks misguidance. The would spew bullshit like [Exam results are not important, what matters is your attitude], that kind of nonsense. I believed it, and back then because I was sort of nerdy (actually, I still am), I decided to reduce my focus on exams and spent time exploring other fascinating things about college life (like dating, playing snooker, etc). In the end I only got Second Upper for my Degree. Then reality hit when I graduated and began looking for jobs. There are so many fresh graduates every year that the very same managers who claimed that exam results are not important, will mostly select candidates with First Class Degree and discard the rest of the resumes. So if any of you reading this are still in college/university, study hard and bloody get your First Class, and never never never trust that [Exam results are not important]!

It has been good for me though, coming to Penang. I managed to squeeze myself into an American MNC, my manager was very good, and I thoroughly enjoyed my early working life. I even got the opportunity to travel to the US quite frequently. That's why I managed to stay on for 6 years and counting now. Problem is, the longer I work, the more I realize things don't add up. Shortly after I started working, we were hit my the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression. Since then I witnessed our beloved CEO repeatedly implement measures that cut into employees' welfare and benefits, while at the same time draw millions of dollars in bonus for himself. Every time he announces such new measures, my mood will plummet even more. To rub further salt into our wounds, he would make the trip to Penang every once in a while to tell us "We are all in this together, the fiscal measures affect all employees including me!"

I have been witnessing an engineer draw on average, a meager increment in salary of 5% annually, while the price of houses skyrocketed 50% or more. I have watched a plate of economic rice (basically set meal with rice and a couple dishes) increase in price from RM3.50 to RM6 over a 5 year span (70%), and a glass of iced coffee go from RM0.90 to RM1.60 (77% increase). I find myself always questioning myself: why is it the longer we work, the more tragic our life seems to become?

There was a time when I had a plan to create enough passive income at the age of 35, then retire and travel the world. Sadly, after a few years of being baptized by reality, the plan turns into a dream, in fact it is fast becoming more and more like an illusion. I have been working for 6 years, but today I feel almost exactly as accomplished as I felt like 6 years ago. What the heck have I been doing in these 6 years exactly?

Sometimes, I really feel like giving in to that rush of impulse and throw the resignation letter out, pack up my backpack and ride of into the sunset while searching for the love of my life. But every time, that feeling dissipates as quickly as it formed. I would think back to 6 years ago, when I resigned from my first job of 4 months, gave up everything and moved to Penang to hunt for a better job. I ended up going half a year without any income. Whenever I remind myself of this pathetic 6 months, all the fire in my belly is effectively doused.

Lately, I have been reading a lot of blogs by travel bloggers. I always end up feeling very envious of them, because they dared to do the thing that I did not and still do not dare to do. Amazingly, all of them bloggers appear to be so content with their decisions to give up everything, pack up and be on the move. Is my fear of the unknown misguided?? Should I really rekindle the same kind of passion that I had 6 years ago, and once again set everything down and just, go?

This is very frustrating.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Experiment Results

On average, each of my blog post garners between 20 to 30 views, and it takes 2 weeks to get there.

This experiment, which I did 2 days ago:
Insider News: Who Will Win The World Cup 2014

It is a crap post, with no coherent content, misleading heading and keywords, and basically just a rubbish article. The only thing it is rich in is SEO friendly keywords.


Kind of makes me feel depressed considering that I wanted to start writing seriously again. I'm a huge fan of casual and spontaneous when it comes to expressing my views into words. If I have to worry about what keywords to use when I write articles, might as well forget it.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Insider News: Who Will Win The World Cup 2014

Actually, this post is an experiment in SEO and it's pitfalls. I am not going to talk about who will win the World Cup in Brazil. I am not going to talk about either Neymar will beat Messi, or the other way round. What do you think I am? Paul the Octopus? When it comes to predicting football, I am more like Pele, always getting it wrongly!

I just wanted to test how much hits I am going to get in a blog post rich with SEO friendly keywords but have utter nonsense content. What is SEO? For the uninitiated, it is an abbreviation for Search Engine Optimization.

Over the past couple of weeks, while studying the art of traffic generating writing, I came to a realization that most websites spend unbelievable amount of focus and money to ensure their websites rank top in search engines. Most of the time, really meaningful content is sacrificed so that articles can squeeze in Googlebot friendly keywords.

The other day I came across in Google, an article with the title: Piers Morgan Will Marry Taeyeon. What a shocking title, so naturally I clicked in to peek. Turns out it is a website selling golf clubs. The whole article was talking about golf clubs, until the last sentence which said: If Piers Morgan plays golf with our super clubs, even the Korean hot babe Taeyeon of Girls Generation will want to marry him.

Good job, you got me, and wasted 5 minutes of my time reading something totally unrelated to your title and heading.

Okay before I end, maybe I will try to make whoever of you who came here feel your time is less wasted. I will attempt to give you my prediction on who will win the World Cup this year. And by the way, sorry for tricking you guys into clicking this link.

Brazil will win the World Cup.


You are not making a prediction, you are just stating a fact!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

ABOUT ME

I sometimes get asked why there isn't an ABOUT ME post. I never bothered. Lately I'm getting a few queries again. Well...

I started this blog back when Facebook was unknown (at least in this part of the world), and when then term iPhone was nonexistent. This is a really really old blog, I reckon, so I think it is fitting that I use a really really old method to write the ABOUT ME.

I will write them down on a piece of paper with a pen. Here goes...

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Moron

There are morons, and then there are morons. Or so they say...

I was sick of watching the World Cup matches at McD Sunshine Square. It does not have a dedicated TV area, so realistically there are only a couple of seats that really offer good viewing experience. So for the Italy vs Costa Rica game, I went to another McD further away.

So there was a couple sitting at the table next to mine. The girl knows her football well. The guy was telling her Italy's star player is Mario Balotelli, and he used to play for Chelsea and now Juventus. She gave him a surprised look and said: "什么?明明是 Manchester City, 还有现在不是在 AC Milan 咩?(What? It was Manchester City obviously, and isn't he now in AC Milan?)"

I am sufficiently impressed with the girl. The boy? Not so much. I wonder what will Super Mario do if he learns that somewhere in the world, there's some dude who got the facts about him wrong.


Anyway that's not the main point. I totally deviated from what I wanted to write about. Let's get back to the topic.

At half time, I was taking some time to calm down after watching Super Mario missed a sitter, and then watching Costa Rica scored a goal. I overheard the couple chatting again. No I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear to ... whatever it is you fancy. I was just sitting there and they happen to be talking in an audible range from me.

Anyway, she was asking him if he watched that Thai tranny music video that got more than 10 million views on Youtube. I'm guessing she meant this one, it is pretty popular on my Facebook feeds lately.


The girl was wondering aloud, why is it that there are so many ladyboys in Thailand compared to other countries in the world, and that it makes no sense to blame it on hormones for this situation (which I totally agree. I don't think it is more due to hormones than it is due to the social environment and exposure, because if it is due to hormone imbalance, it should be the same worldwide rather than certain countries having higher percentage than others). I am getting more and more impressed with the girl. She is really smart and employs logic in her thinking.

"Well, obviously it is because they are a Buddhist country and do not believe in God, so God punished them by making them confused with their gender!"

Wait... WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK?!

No, I am not making this up. These are the exact words that moronic guy spewed, and in English. It pissed me off enough for me to remember the exact words he said. 

Some of you Christian friends might feel frustrated and wonder why us outsiders generally have a less than stellar impression on Christianity in Malaysia, and why we treat those door to door preachers like leprechauns. Well here is your answer. In your midst there exist morons such as this guy who still live in medieval ages and... and... I don't know what to say...

I was pissed enough that I turned around towards their direction. I was preparing to give him a cold hard glare and a bloody piece of my mind. Turns out it was unnecessary. The girl did the job for me.

"Shut up. You know you sound like a moron, right?"

She proceeded to ignore him the whole night.

I would be honest, I am super duper impressed with this girl. If I had met her without the boyfriend, I will definitely attempt to make her my girlfriend.

Well, maybe not. It is mostly because of the moronic guy that made me aware how awesome this girl is.

Anyway, nothing happened. I don't do attached girls, no matter how hot or how awesome I find them to be. Maybe she will break up with that guy. Who knows if we might cross paths again in the future.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Keywords

I usually get 20 to 30 visits per new blog post, which is horrendously pathetic as traffic generating blogs go, but inconsequential to me personally because my blog is sort of personal and for my friends only.

Most of the famous and successful bloggers said placing the right keywords in your blog posts is very important to get hits.


Hmm, sounds about right.

England Will NOT Win The World Cup

I watched my first World Cup match this morning, 6.00AM, England vs Italy. Before the match started, I silently made some predictions:


1. England will start the first 10 minutes brilliantly.
2. Italy will take the lead.
3. England will equalize.
4. Mario Balotelli will score a goal.
5. England would fade away in the second half.
6. ENGLAND WILL LOSE.


Turns out, 6 out of 6. I'm a World Cup Oracle. I think I should plunge into betting seriously this coming couple of weeks.

I watched the game in McDonald's. Basically that is the only place I can catch the action. And goodness me, it was packed with girls. All die hard England supporters. Some were accompanying guys, but there were also 2 tables of all girls gathering. Sambal party?



And no, they were not there because they think David Beckham is still playing, or that Cristiano Ronaldo plays for England. Throughout the match I hear the girls chanting "Sturridge!", "Rooney!", "Gerrard!" and even "Jagielka!". Spectacular, girls are picking up football properly at last, I think.

But then, this is not the reason why I feel the urge to blog. What I really wanted to do is take a dig at the English team. ENGLAND WILL NOT WIN THE WORLD CUP, STOP DAYDREAMING.

The English Premier League is so famous because it is fast paced, exciting, and filled with players from all over the world. It is not because the English players are so superior. Most of the English players are overpaid and overrated and most importantly over-arrogant twats.


And they don't have style. When you think of Brazil or Spain you think of their flamboyant and exciting attacking plays. When you think of Italy you think of solid defence. When you think of Germany you think of their efficient playing. England? Nothing.

In the past the English tabloids and the players will always overplay their chances, spewing crap like "WE HAVE A REALLY GOOD TEAM, WE WILL BE ABLE TO WIN THIS TIME". It appears to me kind of subdued this time around, until I read that Stevie G said: "We have no expectations this time, we don't have the pressure to perform, so I think we will stand a good chance to win." Bollocks. Same old delusional...

I'm sorry, couldn't resist saying it, once again you guys and girls who dreams that England will win the World Cup will have your hearts shattered again.

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Spontaneous

The landlord is big on making spontaneous visits. All the rental are paid by me banking in to his bank account and then sending him an SMS notifying him about it. We rarely talk over the phone. Once in a blue moon, I would call him to inform him that something is broken and needs fixing. When he calls me though, it is because he decided he has to come to the house for whatever reason, rather spontaneously.

In the past, it used to be:

Landlord : Mr Leong (actually that is not my surname, but he heard my friends call me Ah Leong, so..), can you open the door? I am at the front gate. I want to collect my letters/check something.
Me         : Huh? I can't. I'm not in. I'm at work/having lunch outside.
Landlord : Huh? Really ah? When will you be back?
Me         : Erm, in another hour or two, I think?
Landlord : Never mind then, I'll come again.

Recently, he is trying to give me advanced notice:

Landlord : Mr Leong, just to let you know ah, I'm on my way to the house now. Can you be ready to open the door in 15 minutes' time?
Me         : Huh? I'm at my hometown/in another country on business trip. I won't be back until next week.
Landlord : Huh? Aiya, okok, never mind, I call you again when I come next time.

Seriously, I think the landlord has certain expectations of me. Like, if I am not working, I should be staying in the house 24-7 guarding his house. Or, if I am going back to hometown or going away for a business trip, I should inform him, I don't know, maybe he wants to arrange someone else to babysit the house. Or something along those lines. I wonder why he can't/won't let me know earlier (like, a day or 2 in advance) that he is planning to come for whatever reasons he has.

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Angry Man

I was sitting in the office the other day, pondering about my life, almost 6 years since I moved to Penang for work.

Actually I still can't believe I have been here for that long. Originally, I had only intended to work here for 2 to 3 years, then bail.

While thinking, I came to a realization, I am a much shorter tempered man now compared to 6 years ago. I get frustrated/flustered/impatient/annoyed/offended and switch into internal cursing mode much more easily nowadays. By internal cursing mode, I mean I curse my offender in my heart rather than shouting it out loud. Fortunately I still believe in avoiding conflict as much as possible.

When walking along the corridors in the office, I always find people like to stand in the middle of the walkway or in front of the doors and have a chit chat. This really pisses me off big time. Why can't these fuckers stand away from the door and at the side and not block other people's way? Do they think their dads own the company or what?!

Also, people like to walk at a leisurely pace. By leisurely pace, I mean snail pace. Now, that wouldn't be a problem, except for when there are a few of them, and they like to spread out and walk side by side, and yes, chit chatting. You know, how the Chinese say it, 一字排开. And when you say "Excuse me", they turn around and give you that annoyed look, as if you are the unreasonable one. Fuck these fuckturds! Don't they know that not everyone are as free as them? Sometimes there are people who need to walk fast to rush to attend to issues or meetings?!

When queuing up at a car park's autopay machines, most people like to chit chat or play with their iPhones while in the queue. When it is their turn, then they will put their phone away, fumble for their purse, search for the parking ticket and the money needed. Why? Why do people do that?? Why can't people spend that free time in the queue to get the parking ticket and the required money ready, and then just get on with paying when their turn arrive? You might say I am just suffering from engineer deficiency syndrome or whatever is it you want to call it, but isn't it just common sense to try to minimize everyone else's waiting time in queues whenever and in whatever way possible? Why can't people think like that?!

Driving is another source of frustration. When driving on a 3 lane road, there are always cars that stay on the fast lane driving at 40km/h. What the fuck is wrong with these drivers? If you are slow, why not fuck off into the slow lane?! Worse is, some of them, when you try to overtake them, they start to pick up speed as well. Fuck off! Just because I am overtaking you, it does not mean that I am challenging you to a race! Try to grasp that there are people who need to get to wherever they are going fast. Try to grasp that you are the asshole that is in the way!

Sometimes there are cars that drive in between lanes. And no, I don't mean for a short period of time. I have seen cars (yes, with the s, meaning many times) who drove the whole way from e-Gate to Komtar (that's about 5 kilometers) staying between the middle lane and fast lane. Maybe when they went to the driving school, their driving instructor taught them to stick to the white lines instead of in the lanes. Or maybe they are the idiot ones, when people say stay in your lane, they think it means stay on the lines. They are more dangerous than people who speed. Honestly, I think if speeding deserves a RM300 fine, these idiots deserve RM3000 fines!

Enough of ranting. My point is, I don't know since when, but I am beginning to get offended easily by stuff like this and as a result, pushes my stress and hate level over the edge. Or maybe I have always been like this, but just realized it recently. Is there anyone who thinks and feels like me? Or am I the odd one out?

Anyway, I am an angry man. When you are around me, please don't do the stuff that I mentioned above. Thanks.....